Thursday, January 19, 2006

Ok, I was lurking over at Julie's place and saw the damn test thing. Of course, I had to do one for me. Here's my results: I'm cutting and pasting, so
Global Personality Test Results
Stability (46%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being calm and resilient and being anxious and reactive.
Orderliness (46%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion (43%) moderately low which suggests you are reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.
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And then, damn it, I took another one, which says I'm an INFP, and that it supposedly means I'm

creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic

(Though I completely disagree about quitting, being easily distracted, hermit, liking rain - ick, and being irresponsible. no way)

favored careers:

poet, painter, freelance artist, musician, writer, art therapist, teacher (art, music, drama), songwriter, art historian, library assistant, composer, work in the perfoming arts, art curator, playwrite, bookseller, cartoonist, video editor, photographer, philosopher, record store owner, digital artist, cinematographer, costume designer, film producer, philosophy professor, librarian, music therapist, enviromentalist, movie director, activist, bookstore owner, filmmaker

disfavored careers:

business professional, manager, executive, administrator, business owner, supervisor, office manager, business analyst, financial analyst, public relations manager, ceo, executive assistant, judge, event coordinator, lawyer, office worker

Hah! Notice that Poet is listed first as choice of career Hah! And painter is next! And there's even several film-related careers, too. I knew it. I was born to be an artist. It's in my soul, and my genes, and my blood, and my distilled essence. (erm, that sounds a bit icky, doesn't it?) I shall lift my arms up in supplication to my muse, and sing paens to them with my pagan tongue.

When I was a teenager, I wanted to become an artiste in the worst possible way. I wanted to go to college to study art and become the next Picasso, or the next Ansel Adams, (my quest to become a poet has only come to me much later in life even though I've always loved poetry) only my mom talked me out of it. She said I'd always be scrounging for money. So, like a good girl, I listened and instead of going off to college like all my friends I got a job in public service from which I will retire in about 4 years and have a very nice pension and health insurance plan, thank you. But still, I've never ever had a lot of money - just enough to get by and not go hungry. Ok, I have a nice car now, but the last new car I bought lasted me 13 years. *sigh*

Well, I suppose mom knew best. Funny thing is, I've never had lots of money. Actually, I've always just about made ends meet. Even more ironic is that my career turned out to be one like those listed under disfavored. Well, maybe that explains why I generally feel frustrated and boxed in most of the time for no reason at all. At least I've finally decided to go for what I desire. This life is short. It's time to follow my dreams while I still have the wings and strength enough to fly. I suspect this desire is culminating suddenly because I'm an orphan now. I've been made to face my own mortality - I'm the next in line to go. Orphanhood is a mind shaker, all right. It gets your ass into gear as far as seeking out some self-satisfaction. Someday, when find yourself parentless, you'll understand.

And on that tangental rant and ramble, I shall leave you.



Blogger Chuck said...

Hey. Thanks for stopping by and posting on my site. I've got your site on my list that I visit when I'm online. I do way more reading others and posting on my own site.
I'm sort of a 'mute poet'. I'm artistic but generally lack the vocal chords to give shape and substance to what's stirring. I seem to only able to appreciate it more than create it. If that makes sense.
Anyway, I enjoy popping by now and then so keep up the good writing.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Cookala said...

Hey, thanks alot, Chuck. Really. It's nice to get positive feedback on what I'm doing. I'm glad you enjoy the blog - that's heartening!

I still have so much to learn about poetry yet, but I do see some major growth since I first started trying to write almost 5 years ago. I've come a long way with the help of on-line workshops like PFFA and Eratosphere, but I still have a long way to go, too.

And there have been setbacks - long dry spells, work that sometimes steals away my free time, family obligations, and most recently my mom's passing. But I keep coming back to poetry, so that tells me something and it also keeps me going when I'm not productive.

It's not a matter of simply wanting to write, it's more of a matter of having to write - if that makes any sense. It's like a itch you can't quite reach that keeps at you until you do. That's the best way I can explain this creative drive I was blessed with. It must out or it makes me crazy with distraction until it does. Alas, I am a poor, driven soul hell bent on pleasing, no, on supplicating my muse.

heh. got carried away there a bit. heh. it's getting late and I'm getting punchy. so with that I will sign off, but not before I say thanks once again for peepin in now and then.

9:40 PM  
Blogger Chuck said...

"the itch you can't scratch"

I can SO indentify with that...except I can Never seem to ever reach it. Nevertheless it remains. Maybe I just haven't discovered the proper artistic venue.
There are a lot of creativity crushers in our day-to-day life. But maybe that's where the poetry incubates.

3:39 PM  

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