Wednesday, March 01, 2006

On a maybe happier note, pops is out of the hospital and back at the nursing home. This is good, but I'm feeling a bit pessimistic about it. If the nurses at the home don't follow through on my instructions to keep him from getting dehydrated, his kidneys will fail yet again and he'll end up back in the hospital. And each time this happens, it weakens him considerably more. Eventually, if this keeps up, he won't recover.

I can't tell you how hard it is to have to sit by and see this happen. I almost feel like we've signed his death warrant. We can't bring him back home because of his dementia. We have to depend on the nursing staff to keep him healthy, and that's really scary. Now, instead of worrying about him being home alone I worry about him being in the nursing home. I wonder if he's any better off, considering what seems like an inaptitude of care he's getting, even though this home is light years better than the other one. I mean, I can tell them what they have to do to keep him well, but will they do it? There's just no way to know, but time will tell.

So, it looks like my life is going to be on hold for awhile. In the meantime, I'll be taking turns with my brother checking on pops at the home. Thank God it's only a 15 minute drive, though the parking is horrendous. If you can't find a spot across the street, you've got to park in a lot that's a 10 minute walk away, and it's friggin cold out now. *sigh* Why is it that things always have to be so hard? You get a little break in one sense, and then lose it in another.

Well, I've got to toodle. So much to do so little time and all that. Have you hugged your mom today? Or called her? Do it now. You'll be glad you did.

2 Comments:

Blogger Chuck said...

You're right, sometimes it seems like life is an uphill battle and our footing is not that sure. I often wonder if there's divinity in it...to make us see we need help that no other person can provide. I'm pretty independent but I do think about this. I know breaks do come but when you're in the valley it's hard to see very far.
Anyway, I started this to say that I sense a lot of what you're saying. And thanks for the mom reminder.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Cookala said...

Hiya, Chuck! Thanks for your repsonse. It's nice to know there is someone out there who has a sense of what I'm babbling on about.

Your idea is interesting - maybe times like these happen to remind us that "no man is an island". We all need someone at sometime no matter how independent we are, and that comes from my fiercely independent heart. We must all remember to be humble when need be.

But when the crap pile becomes a mountain that's slowly crushing you beneath its weight, it's time to lean a little on whomever you can.

It's also a time to be grateful that there are people in your life who you can lean on, and also not to forget to let them know that you're thankful for it and most of all to remember to give support back when the need arises.

Thanks for being reminded about your mom. Most parents are a treasure, and as they age we really should make an effort to spend as much time with them as possible, storing up the memories we'll make as sustenance for when they're gone.

1:41 PM  

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